Ain’t Nothing but A Mercury Thing…

Posted On October 1, 2021

Let me tell you a little about my week….

On Monday morning, I woke up thinking all was well with the world, that I had finally sorted my blog subscription settings and was done with that headache. In a few short minutes, I realized that not only had I not fixed a thing, I had actually managed to break my email account which was now linked to my blog. After an infuriating half hour trying to work with support with no results, I scrapped the two hours of work I had done the night before and freed my gmail from the evil clutches of the third party server that it apparently hated.

The technology nightmare continued for the rest of the week. Not a single link in my homeschool lesson plans would work and I had to hunt them down all over again, video streaming froze repeatedly, my laptop ran like it had molasses in it, email communications went astray, and then I broke our brand new microwave which we had bought to replace the one I blew up last week.

You think this all would have tipped me off, but no! It took a Facebook post from a friend who is much more woo-aware than I before I realized that f&*@ing Mercury was retrograde again. Laugh if you will, but it gets me every time.

Mercury retrograde is said to have a negative affect on communication and the tech that goes along with it, so I guess I probably can’t blame it for everything.

My basic relationship with technology is tenuous at best. In college it was freaking ridiculous. I once killed my roommate’s TV while watching The Apostle. Robert Duval was preaching some particularly bigoted crap. I stood up to turn it off with a, “That is quite enough of that!” and before I could take a step, the color tube blew.

It’s moderately better now. It’s at least less dramatic, though it remains rather expensive. Phones last about a year and a half, fitbits average about 6 months. My battle with voice activated AI verges on epic. They like to do pretty much the opposite of whatever I ask. Alexa, in particular, is a little bitch.

And Mercury going rogue does seem to crank it all up to an 11, communication based or not. When the second microwave blew, I asked my husband, “Do you think it might be me?”

“No,” he replied, ” I think it’s definitely you.”

I’m going to try to post this now. Thanks to my woo friend I’m at least prepared that it might not work. For the lucky among you who scoffed your way through this post, be grateful this is not something you’ve dealt with and I’m glad to at least given you a chuckle. For the rest of you, communicate with care and don’t let the AI get you down.