Dealing with first day FOMO

Posted On September 3, 2021

My social media feeds have been absolutely exploding with first day of school posts over the last few days. They are adorable, don’t get me wrong. But when my 2am brain-spins start to replay a slideshow of them, I have to admit that they are definitely putting me in a state of FOMO. Or rather, I’m worried my child will experience FOMO as a homeschool kid, so….FOFOMO? Is that a thing?

I love seeing the happy faces shinning above the oversized back packs, I love the bus shots and the drop-off shots. I worry that my son is going to feel like he’s missing out on these rites of passage as a homeschool kid. My beautiful niece, his cousin and bff, started 1st grade the other day and the excitement in her eyes was wonderful to see even if it gave me a bit of a pang. I’m nervous for all these wonderful kiddos in my life and in my feed, but happy that they are getting a little bit more of a normal start this year.

And then I remember why we’re doing what we’re doing, and I realize that normal isn’t for everyone.

We weren’t necessarily planning to be a homeschool family. We thought we had found a school that was a good fit for the lad’s learning; we thought we were in it for the duration. But after being forced into at-home-learning at the beginning of the pandemic, we had to rethink things.  We got to see first hand how he really learned. We got to watch his learning and his confidence explode in those first few weeks of COVID lockdown that seemed to paralyze so many other kids, and we started to look at things differently.

Here’s the thing, if we had had a normal first day I would have had to get my son out of bed by six to get him dressed, fed, and on the bus when it goes by our house just before 7:00. School doesn’t start until 8:30. (Did I mention that the school is only 2 miles away? We are one of the closest houses and we are the first pickup. We’re also the last drop off.) He would have started the day feeling rushed, tired, bored, and likely car sick.

Instead, I’m listening to him read his latest favorite, word perfect, with voices, inflection, and dramatic flare.  He’s not sitting on a bus for an hour and a half to go learn letter sounds and sight words he already knows in order to stay at the same level as his classmates.  He’s exercising his brain and his imagination right off the bat. He’ll come down for breakfast in a few, we’ll knock out Math, Science, more reading, and some social studies before lunch.

He’ll be moving incessantly while we do it, jumping up to act something out, darting off to get something else he feels he needs to add to the learning experience, because that is how he learns. I’ve worked with kids since I was 19 years old and he is one of the most kinetic learners I have ever seen. When I read to him, he stands on his head for half the book. No joke. But he will also retain more of the book than I think possible. It’s just how his brain works best. While public elementary schools have gotten much better at allowing for movement during class, I don’t think they are ready for him.

After lunch, we’ll jump in the car and head to the animal sanctuary and pick a couple of animals to research in depth or grab our book on tidal pools and head to the coast to see what creatures we can find. He’s voracious and he never wants to stop learning. I love it, and I never want to see that dampened or caged. He still gets plenty of social time with our awesome neighbors and playdates with friends, and will literally strike up a conversation with anyone, child or adult. For right now, at least, this is the right path for us.

Let’s be clear, I worked in education for 14 years and for the public school system for another 5. What they do is awesome and necessary, and the teachers are damned heroes in my eyes, but I also know first hand how teaching 20+ kids at once restricts the way you can teach and what you can teach.

I get to follow my son’s interests. Finding ways to fit the skills he needs into his latest passions is so incredibly fun for the educator in me. Getting to slow down and stay on one concept for as long as needed if he is struggling or jump way ahead of grade level for the topics he really gets is so rewarding. It is what every teacher wishes they could do for every student in their classroom.

Once again, I am speaking from a place of unbelievable privilege. I don’t know how long this homeschool journey will last; hopefully as long as he keeps asking for it. As the pandemic ebbs, and we get more involved with various activities, it’s possible that FOMO may kick in and he’ll want to get back out there. It’s possible that future financial and employment situations could take the choice out of our hands. For now, I’ll try to enjoy the freedom it gives us, the challenges it brings, and know that he is in the right place for him. For now.