The unbelievable weight of mental load
Tea is by my side, cat climbed into my lap the second I opened the laptop, I’m listening to the peaceful sound of the rain, and I am utterly amazed at how light my mind feels.
Seriously….it’s actually quiet in there. I can meditate without it being a constant struggle. I’m sleeping better, my mood and focus are better; it’s unreal.
In addition to writing and finding content, the job I just left included monitoring multiple sites, email threads, and text, and more or less being on call to deal with anything that came up. I knew I was finding it draining, but I don’t think even I realized how much of my brain was staying stuck in that monitoring mode. It was like having 9 different browsers running constantly in the background and then trying to smoothly stream everyday life. Maybe it’s an age thing, but I simply didn’t have the bandwidth.
Now I am down to “just” planning homeschool, trying to catch up on the homestead, keeping track of finances, meal planning, housework, and all the other stay at home mom stuff, plus trying to move forward three major personal projects. And I still feel about 90 pounds lighter.
I just need to stop for a second and acknowledge how unbelievably privileged I am to have been able to put down a huge portion of my mental burden, to be able to embark upon this crazy experiment at all, and to have the incredible luxury of mostly choosing what I carry, even if it’s just for awhile. I really don’t have words for how much gratitude I have about this. For most people it’s just not possible.
So many people I love work in fields where the mental load is immense, and mostly unacknowledged. Seriously, check on your educator friends, your social worker friends, the health care professionals in your life. The weight they carried before the pandemic was already tremendous and so much more has been piled on them in the last year and a half.
While it’s getting more research and more press, I think that we drastically underestimate the weight of mental load and what it’s doing to us. Truth be told we are all carrying much more than we were before COVID. Many of us are feeling overburdened, more isolated, and more on edge as a result. We need to be as kind as we can, to each other and to ourselves; cut down on the extra chatter we allow into our lives (Do not, I repeat, do NOT read the comments on the social media threads :), and take a few moments to breathe.
The tea is gone and the world’s most amazing 6 year old is up, so I will sign off here. I hope you are all able to put down at least one thing today and make your mental burden just a little bit lighter.