To Sleep Perchance to … Just Sleep. No Dreams Required.
Insomnia has made a sudden and dramatic reappearance in my life. This is not the brain spins that accompany an unfinished to do list (of which I have many) but that wide awake refusal to sleep that your brain suddenly flips to with seemingly no reason. It will then proceed to meander around random things you have not thought of in decades, analyze obscure questions of philosophy, or simply engage in random musings about all aspects of existence.
I have always been awful at sleep. I have extreme envy of those (like my husband) who can be snoring within a few short minutes of their heads hitting their pillow and not emerge from the sweetness of slumber until morning. It’s a freakin’ superpower, I swear.
A significant portion of my life, from early childhood, has been spent as the only person awake in my house. I’m sure it probably started as some deep seated ancestral fear of the dark or some such, but I remember most nights turning into complete and total boredom as I stared at the ceiling or repositioned my blankets for the 50th time.
The one and only benefit for those of us who experienced this kind of insomnia before the advent of the internet is that we are deeply acquainted with the inner workings of our own brains. We have had ample time to wander those cerebral halls undisturbed. And let me tell you, it gets weird in there, particularly around 3 am.
And then there’s the dreams. Oh. My. God. I had forgotten how weird dreams get when your brain finally succumbs to sleep after battling insomnia for half the night. I mean, they can be entertaining, but I’ll pass on most of them. If you’ve been there, you know what I mean.
I’m offering no solutions to sleeplessness here. (Though I will say I’ve been neglecting my yoga and I think that is the culprit.) I will offer a warning that my writing could get reallllly interesting if this stint of sleeplessness goes on too long. I apologize in advance. I might also miss some mornings, like this morning, due to the need to fully focus on simply being mostly functioning for the lad.
Oh, also I’ve been monkeying around with the blog settings while on far too little sleep. I think I’ve fixed it. I think. It involved many more steps than it should have and I’m not entirely sure what I did. You may still receive nothing in your inbox. That’s ok. You know where to find me at this point. If you get a sudden backlog of emails, however, or the same post 7 times, please do let me know. I will try to fix it. Again.
May your sleep come swiftly and your dreams be sweet tonight. I sure hope that will be the case for me.