Wind, water, and learning to lean.
I have been married to a mariner for almost 7 years now and yesterday we finally got out in a sailboat together.
In our early days of dating, he worked on antique schooners and I got to do a few stints in the galley, both as head chef and as a galley rat (think prep cook with more dishes and additional fun tasks such as furling sails and scrubbing the soles. Side note: I think I am still a better cook on a wood stove than I am on an electric stove.) Since we’ve been married we’ve gotten out on the water a fair bit, but never under sail power. It was kind of the perfect thing to blow away my weird mood yesterday.
One fact about sailing: it is not as advertised. Oh, there’s nothing like it. The sound of the water, working with the wind, the creak of the ropes. It’s beautiful, it’s invigorating. What it is not, is relaxing.
Not pictured in the photo above is the very crowded harbor we had to navigate the lovely, but very beamy, borrowed sloop through. She was designed after an old crabbing vessel and built at a ship building school. She’s lovely, but graceful she is not. My husband is a pro, and I love watching him do what he’s good at, but my heart was in my throat multiple times as it looked as if we were careening straight into some rather expensive looking yachts only to tack away at the last second.
I took a few days of a sailing class with a friend this summer. We were in little old 420 sailboats with far fewer elements to manage and I couldn’t even get that to respond the way I wanted to all the time. I do not fully understand the mechanics yet and what my husband does looks like sheer magic to me.
The thing about sailing is that you have to work with the wind, even when it’s going in a direction you don’t really want to go. There is no moving in a straight line. You have to anticipate, strategize, and be prepared to change course very quickly. It’s not uncommon for the wind to completely shift directions right when you think you’ve got it figured out. It can pick up speed all of a sudden or completely lay down flat, leaving you at a standstill. All you can do is adjust accordingly. If you try to fight the wind, you will end up going absolutely nowhere.
It is far too much like life to be relaxing.
My six year old was somewhat unimpressed at first. “Why are we just going in circles?” That’s the thing about sailing and life; It’s really not so much about the destination.
We all learned a lot yesterday. Finn found his sea legs, figured out where not to be, and how to anticipate the lean of the boat. I learned to trust my instincts (which I’m told are really quite good) and stifle my over analytical brain. My husband, well, he learned that if he wants a seafaring family, he still has a lot of teaching to do.
I don’t think it will be another 7 years before we get out again. I certainly hope not. In the meantime, I’m hoping I can remember the on water lessons and how they apply to my life on land and particularly this new adventure of mine.
Since I’m a hiker instead of a seafarer, I relate the analogy to mountain climbing. It certainly is about the journey and not the destination.
I absolutely love the life parallels. I haven’t participated in sailing much and would rather ride the waves while someone else navigates the wind. Letting go of trying to control it is hard! And while this is a literal example of my experience sailing- it gives me pause and makes me think. Thank you for the heartfelt reflections!